Do you know that you are important?

Do you know that your feelings REALLY do matter?

Do you know that you CAN have the life you desire?

Do you know how important you are?

Do you want to take your power back for your life?

Do you have what's important to you?

Do you long for a more fulfilling and satisfying life or Relationship?

Are you connected to your Spiritual Power?

Are you at peace with your family?

Do you have a good relationship with your parents?

Are you doing what YOU want to be doing?

Do you have everything you ever hoped for?







How Healthy Relationship Coaching Can Help You:

When you are fighting all the time, you can't quite seem to remember what is important to you.

When you come home to greet your lover, but feel unseen, lost and alone.

When you're frustrated at home, and the rest of your life doesn't seem so important.

When you're stressed all the time, and can't focus on the other things in your life that are important to you.

When you aren't sure if you should stay or leave.

When you're afraid to make any change.

When you try to escape but can't get away.

When you're running to friends, family, exercise, or worse drinking to help you cope.




How Peace with your Parents Coaching Can Help You:

Get to the source of your issues with your parents!

Find out what's in the way of your relationship with your mom or dad.

Forgive your dad or accept your mom for who they are.

Heal your heart of what pains you today.

Connect closer to your siblings.

Overcome an abusive or unhealthy childhood.

Resolve family issues in your adult life today!

Create a team with your 2nd family, the family you created!

Have more peace at work.

Have the intimacy with your present family you want.

Become your own independent self and live a life that is YOURS!

Get complete with your past and let the issues in your family from the past stay in the past.

Fall in love with your husband all over again!







How Spiritual Empowerment Coaching Can Help You:

Feel more at peace with whatever you are dealing with.

Use your connection to spirit/God/Essence/Divinity that will bring you back to your heart and love yourself again.

Reconnect to a spiritual path when you've lost touch.

Become more calm and at ease!

Become empowered and take a stand for your life.

Learn new ways to relax, take time to nurture yourself and release your emotional pain!

Relieve yourself of anxiety or stress!

Become happier on the inside; not just in your life around you!

Regain hope in something that has made you feel lost!

Begin to trust your intuition!

And MORE!!!




How Sexual Empowerment Coaching Can Help You:

Feel supported from having been victimized, raped or traumatized, or just being a sensitive "normal" woman!

Learn that you are special and your sexual needs or boundaries are extremely important

Stand up for yourself and take charge of your life

Get complete from those in your past! Forgive others, and forgive yourself!

Learn the power of NO and yes, in your quest for feeling the love you deserve!

Take your life back and open your heart to a deep fulfilling love life!

Learn to listen to your sexual feelings to pull back from sex or honor when you need to be nurtured!

Learn to ask for gentleness when you need it. Even a hugging embrace or cuddle session can empower you and fill you with sexual energy!

Gain resources and tools to empower you in your journey.

Be empowered to have the sex life YOU deserve!

Open yourself up to the full self that you are!


What is Coaching?

Coaching is about building the life YOU want to live!

Coaching is about creating YOUR future!

Having the life of your dreams!

Coaching takes where you are today and helps you build a new outlook on life to make your dreams happen for tomorrow!

Scar Tissue and Hormones

Mothers as Sexual Beings

As a Parent, you have a lot of responsibilities. There are many people in your life that you need to consider how they feel, but you must not forget, in particular as a woman, how important you are, and how imperative it is in getting your own needs met. Women who avoid their personal, intimate and sexual needs often start out as being irritable, then they move to disgust and anger, and eventually they go numb. They can spend many years forgetting that their body is in need of touch, and live life unfulfilled and with a huge void where pressures of their children, work, and their external family become more important. They then live in a reality where their intimate selves are completely pushed under the carpet and they don't even know that they exist. Their bodies become armored, stiff, stuck in a cave hidden to their own passions; their own pleasures and most importantly forgetting their inner hearts and the love that is deep inside of them.

This then sets up a trap for her husband, her co-parent in action and they then move from lovers to perhaps best friends or business partners. They justify their lack of intimacy that their children are more important and "they really need us right now." However, consider this: when you are unhappy, when your body is guarded, when you are not seen as a sexual beautiful woman or are not letting yourself be seen as a beautiful woman of pleasure, joy and power, your children will feel this. They will feel your suppression. They will feel your anger. They will feel your frustration, because most likely, you will put more energy into the children. You will react more to their behaviors and become more disciplinarian with them. And this then sets up another trap; your children avoiding you, or becoming distant from you; the one thing you truly did NOT want to happen.




Children who see their parents in love, sharing love, and experiencing love with each other grow up to view intimacy with others in a more natural healthy way. When children grow up viewing their parents; their direct most important and significant teachers, avoiding each other, giving each other the silent treatment or in other words not speaking about topics that are crucial to their relationship, to their sexual life and to their family, the children learn from this. They grow up thinking it is okay to keep secrets from people, that it is ok to avoid the people they love, that it is normal to not be close to the people they love, and this then sets them up for failure. They lose their self in this reality of what they believe to be true. They have no other role models that are more important than their parents. And when you want to be a good parent and a good teacher to your children, express your sexual self to your husband, your Beloved, your Lover and don't make him your friend or business partner.

If you have young children, of course you want to express your full sexual desires in the bedroom AFTER your child is asleep, however your affections with each other after the fact bring long term affects, to each other and to your children. The love you bring to each other gets shared and spread out throughout your whole family. Everyone will feel it, and EVERYONE will benefit.

News Blogcast - Gentleman, ladies, couples and singles!!!! (Old Post deleting from other blog)

I am here to inform you all that it is NOW a new time ~ the creative artist that I am, and the entrepreneur that I am is excited to share with you – the ending of one cycle and the beginning of a new one!

As many, or perhaps some of you may know the dark places I had to go. Well, I went there, dealt with it (as each layer arrives), and now I am renewed. Being a Goddess, an Empath, an Artist and a Healer makes it VERY important that I HONOR each and every time my being/my Spirit/my presence/my heart requests of me to go inward. And so inward I go, and in the process I may disappear for a time, but without going inward, I could not continue to be available to you. So, in essence it is an exciting time! To constantly feel the flow of my body, my spirit, my heart and the opening and expansion each time it happens ~ the flow, the peace, the joy within my body each and every time I get to come out of the healing period and share the deep love I am experiencing for myself WITH YOU!!!

This recent inward period, I felt an orgasm in my heart chakra. My heart literally fluttered and tingled with a sensation of joy ~ right in the center of my chest, and then I felt a POP; like a balloon of energy was circulating around my heart and the POP literally popped out whatever armor was there, and I literally, as I am psychic in my own way, saw the energy expand outward all around my body and into space and time, as I was in nature a couple weeks ago! And then only a few moments later, felt a full body orgasm as I was taking little steps onto the dirt in the woods, and my whole body waved in sensation of love; like a dance, and then I felt my crown chakra open at the deepest capacity it has been in MANY MANY years. Then, as if by surprise, I felt the energy of the Earth all around me. I felt the energy of the trees, the dirt, the rocks, the wind and the awe of nature. And it was mesmerizing!It was NOT a sexual orgasm. It was a Spiritual Orgasm, and one I had not planned or done ANY spiritual exercise to create! IT JUST HAPPENED, all on its own! WOW! What a sensation of bliss, and what an experience worth sharing!

So now, I am working on merging my reclaimed spiritual power (as you see here: http://healingthesacredfeminine.blogspot.com/2011/05/newfound-spiritual-power.html) and creating a workshop for Couples and a Women's Workshop. I am here to tell you, the women of the world NEED your love! As a man, as most of you are, you must learn how to get through your wives feelings. She needs you, and she wants YOU to help her; even if she doesn’t know it, or speak it. She’s desperately calling out for your help, but gentleman, as many of you are, it is a test; a challenge for you to learn how to become that TANTRIC HEALER she needs you to be. I challenge you to come to see me with your Beloved, and let me help you heal the wounds that are keeping you apart! Women and men speak different languages, and I am here to help you learn her language so you can truly have the intimacy you desire and deserve! I will be writing more on this, and calling out for help, to help the men understand, learn and become Healers on the planet, so the women can shine and be glorious beside you!

I have only 1 or 2 weeks left of my Master Coaching Training. I shifted my project from the book to the Women’s Workshop because of what came up for me, so as soon as I complete the project of the workshop, I will be working on the writing of the book mentioned in a previous blog, and perhaps the journey of being a Healer who was raped, and a tool to help men help the women they love!

Asttarte

"Things We Don't Talk About: Healing Narratives from the Red Tent" (Offi...

Amazing Video for Empowering Women!!!

Creating Intimacy with A Woman

Here is my first video I made on the Dynamics and Approaching a Woman in your life. There will definitely be a Volume 2, and so on to this, and I may at some point re-do the 1st one and create an Introduction instead. However, this is the 2nd video I made. Like I said, these are the baby steps to creating videos. I may be getting some professionals to help out of this, or I may just get better at doing this myself. I'll be playing with different lighting, backgrounds, and spacial arrangements to see what is best, but the delivery is good. I hope you enjoy this, and find it, at the least, a bit helpful.

I was not looking at notes in this one. I was just looking down while I was thinking and choosing my next words. I sometimes pause to think of what I am going to say next. I like the distance of my face the best in this, but I will be creative with this process with you, and am happy to make changes as people recommend things to try.

I am in the process of creating a Video for the Book: Mystery of Women, and will be working on getting this succinct. I am enjoying this journey of sharing what I love to you, and hope you are enjoying my journey of giving it just as much!




Namaste~

Asttarte

Shared from a friend

I am not your medicine woman

Do not come to this temple for healing

Piece your self together along the Red Road

Only then will i embrace your heart as a warrior of light

I am not your medicine woman
Do not drink from this chalice without first filling it from your own well.
There is a sacred spring beneath your wounding
Find this place
and The Goddess will meet you there

The Goddess is not your medicine woman
Do not come to her temple for healing
Piece your self together along the Red Road
Only then will she embrace your heart as a warrior of light

The Goddess is not your medicine woman
Do not drink from her chalice without first filling it from your own well
There is a sacred spring beneath your wounding
Find this place
and Love will meet you there.

~ Tia Melody

Female Ejaculation - What they Don't Teach You in School

When it comes to a ladies pleasure, there are many ways you can ignite her arousal. However, few women have the gratification of experiencing the full capacity of pleasure and it is not something taught in school. Many women have solely clitoral arousal, and are left with the rest of the labia, inner uterine walls and gspot untouched.

Many guys wish they knew how to pleasure a woman, and many women have been programmed to believe that it is not possible for them! But ladies, I’m telling you, it is totally possible for you and ALL of women to not only consider having a female ejaculation, but experiencing it to the point of having them all the time.  And once the ball starts rolling, it doesn’t stop (unless you’ve abstained for a while from sexual interaction, and by then you’ll need to open the gates again as though it’s your first time).

When it comes to self pleasure, or pleasuring another woman, you want to get the outer lips aroused and awakened. Then you want to ignite the inner lips, outer labia, inner labia, and the skin attaching to the clitoris, but never touching the tip right away. Many women have all sorts of ways of enjoyment for this part of their body, and it is their body, so you want to first ask and then listen. Don’t go into this part of her body expecting that you know everything and that you know what she wants in that very moment. She may change what she desires every time you’re together, and if you go into the experience acting as though you’re the master of HER body, you may be left frustrated that you never turned her on. This is where listening, true listening, is most important.

After you’ve relaxed her on the outside, you want to get in contact with her inside, but ONLY after she’s been aroused and feels ready for you to do so. If she starts asking you, then you know she’s really ready, but if possible, make her wait a little bit. A little frustration on her end is good for her, it makes her more ready and aroused than she might be if you dove in before she was ready. So pay attention to her body, and listen.

For every woman, she has a special spot on the inside of her yoni, at the top; like the roof of the mouth that has the same or similar consistency as the skin inside the mouth. But it will be either hard or gushy and like a ball that you can push forward and back. If its firm then it may mean she’s never had her gspot massaged before, or in a while. Her layers need some coaxing to relax and become soft.

The best way to relax her gspot:

You’ll want to start with firm pressure pulling up, almost towards yourself as though you are lifting a basketball with one finger. The middle finger is often the best to use for its thickness in holding the point and its width that you’ll be sure you’re on the right spot.  You may need to search around until you find the right spot, and every woman’s special spot is located differently inside her body. It could be close to the main entry, or all the way deep inside, so make your adjustments as you need and stick to the goal. After you’ve found it, and after you’ve placed pressure here, you’ll want to slide in and out while placing pressure. It will probably hurt her at first, and you’ll want to sooth her by letting her know she is loved, safe and very beautiful.  If it doesn’t hurt her all the better, but if its firm and hard most likely it will be.  From here you want to be creative. Massage the outside at the same time you’re massing the inside, perhaps go back and forth or continue mutually.  Once she has one cliteral orgasm, she is getting closer to having a gspot orgasm, and even closer to having an ejaculation.

If you feel small amounts of water releasing you’ll know she’s beginning to open up the floodgates, and soon she’ll be releasing water all over the place. You want to be sure you have at least one large towel; two or three is preferable as your woman might have a lot to let go of.  You can fold the towel over in corners and turn it as she gets each side soaked.  If she doesn’t get the towel that wet, it’s ok. She’s on her way to her joyous pleasure and having you for a coach and lover is her greatest treat!

Ladies, if you are doing this alone, be sure you have candles lit, incense burning, and a nice crystal for your spiritual enlightenment and energy clearing. If you have emotions come up, you might want to pause and place a hand over your heart taking deep breaths into the belly.  Be sure your phone is off and you are taking your full attention on loving yourself. You don’t want to be in the middle of an orgasm or squirting water and have the phone ringing or someone knocking on your door.  Always place a sign out your door, PLEASE DO NOT DISTURB, and give your whole energy to you! You deserve it, and now is your time. Whoever they are, and whatever they want, it can certainly wait!

If anyone has any questions, or needs further coaching, feel free to write to me at or find me at http://SacredPathofTantra.com.

Asttarte@asttartdeva.com

Blessings and Namaste~

(See copy at UnfoldingPleasure.com)

Sacred Goddess & Female Health

Every month women go through a cycle of change within their bodies. They have no control over the changes they are experiencing within. They often don't know what is happening underneath their skin; until all of a sudden they explode with a rush of adrenalin and excitement onto their loved ones, or the innocent recipient as their mirror standing, or listening right before them. Women have powerful surges of emotions that can change from the hormones that go through the upheavel of arousal to its peak, and depletion and sizzling at the hormones come to a place of rest and completion of their cycle.

However, every month, there is the potential for the women to take charge of these feelings. They have the opportunity to observe their bodily changes; their every day moments of expression, and their energy level from a heightened joy and excited energetic response to a stillness from within; a calming agent that makes them rest, sometimes hybernate and perhaps all too often become lethargic or melodic in their rest. Women often have a passion to ignite the release by means of exercise to wild sex; all the way with a fierce power for periods of time, all the way to a gentle feminine power and calmness.

The people around these Goddess's during their time of changes, all too often don't know how to support the woman. They themselves may be moved into anger or confusion, and sometimes sadness that they cann't help her, or doubt in their abilities to be of service; rejecting their own power and strength that they are capable of giving to her. So, the women need to take charge, and until she knows she needs to create balance within her hormonal changes, she cannot rise to the occasion and take care of her bodily experiences.

When a Goddess is consumed by her past, and has not healed all of the hurt inside of her, she may not know that what she is dealing with, is a normal and natural change of her hormonal response. She may need to heal within her hurt, her pain, her anger, sadness or trauma prior to the need to heal the imbalance in her body. Many women in our culture are on "the pill" so their ability to sense the changes within their bodies is limited to the strength of the medication she is on, or perhaps, if she has leveled out and feels at peace with her monthly pill, she may have some awareness of the changes she is experiencing, however, when a woman has gone all naturelle, she will feel ALL of her EVERYTHING that her body experiences, so long as she has healed all of her inner wounds, grief, feelings of her past, and so on from within. Once she has accomplished this, I want to say CONGRATUALTIONS and here are soem things to consider for creating balance on a monthly basis, and help those hormones come to rest:


YOGA FOR PMS
Yoga is general is so wonderful for the body, but there are some specific poses to help the female body expand herself from the inside, and get her circulation moving at a powerful level, and give her a little boost of self love! Some simple yoga poses that stretch the inner thighs, the stomach and the lower back are great for the woman to remind herself how wonderful and beautiful she truly is. BKS. Iyengar has a great Yoga book for Health, and the sequence for PMS is a great place to start!


CRYSTAL HEALING
Moonstone is an excellent stone for the symptoms of PMS and female health. Pietersite is great for balancing the hormones. Kunzite is awesome for calming the mind, dissolving negativity, and protecting the wearer from unwanted energies. It also stimulates sensitivity, sensuality and circulation.
It helps one to be open, strong, loving and vibrant. Tiger's Eye is excellent to help one feel confident and strong about themselves; along with onyx. they can lift you right up out of a bad mood! Chlorite is an angel stone and great for circulation, a similar vibration to kunzite and the two together have many more benefits than what's listed here. Blue Calcite alone is great for calming one into a space of peace and love. If no other methods are done, here is something simple to do and add as an aid to meditation, to carry on you, or in your sleep.


AYURVEDIC MEDICINE
Ayurvedic Medicine is a science all unto itself. Consider getting tested to find out your chart and what dosha you rate highest. Most people are a combination of all three dosha's, but one or two is highest. Once you find out your score, you can take the advice of what it recommended for your type and eat, and live in accordance to what will help you balance the most! It is based off of a score of Kapha, Pitta and Vata, and usually one of those will be your natural tendency, and one or two may be out of sync. There is a diet recommended for each type and I highly recommend trying it during, before and after your moon cycle. It may also keep you balanced the whole month long!


HERBAL TEA
There are some great herbal teas for the female cycle, to balance the energies in the womb, to aid in circulation and health for her female organs and to calm the body and mind. Herbology can be so powerful when utilized and understood!


MEDITATION
Meditation alone can help to calm those nasty nerves and still the mind that often overworks during the height of female hormones. Just sitting for 5 minutes to 15 minutes in the morning before doing anything else, can completely create a day of peace, and when done throughout the day, it will help to maintain this place of balance. Use of a rosary, mala beads, a witches ladder or buddhist prayer beads can help throughout the entire day, but do remember to get the basic things done that are necessary while continuing to come back to your heart!


EXERCISE OR WALKING
If you're in good shape or you enjoy the feeling from exercise, and it doesn't harm your body in any way, take up a little walking, or other exercise regime for even 20 minutes a day. It will help keep your spirits high and give you a boost of energy to get your work done.


HEALING BATH
If you have the means to take a bath; alone, without little children running around disrupting you, it is so refreshing to soak in the bubbles, and add your taste of essential oils to your homemade sauna. It is so worth waiting for at the end of the day, and for those lucky ones, anytime you want!


MASSAGE
When you have a man who offers his strong hands on your body during the week or so before your moon, it is so great to just lay back and surrender to the healing he can offer you. When you don't have someone to give to you easily, consider asking a friend, using self-massage techniques, or treat yourself to a nice relaxing massage (at any place of your choosing). It is so helpful and enjoyable during the time you need it most!


HERBAL MEDICINE
There are a few products out there to help with hormonal balance, and if you're comfortable with taking herbal remedies, tinctures, essential oils, teas and any thing else above, herbal remedies will be a great addition to balance out your entire nature and help those hormones gain balance and control. Gaia Herbs is a great company and comes out with an herbal remedy for Women's Balance, and a great product at theforgottenfoods.com under Women's Health called Sacred Womb.  I also highly recommend the Nutritional Almanac!



If you have any other ideas and you want to add it to this list, please make a comment on this blog, or write to me directly. I will add your suggestion per our conversation and gladly offer it to the women who read this blog! Thank you so much for reading. And I look forward to connecting with you again soon!

Blessings Sisters and Namaste~

Asttarte

The Healer Who Was Raped

The process of healing from a major trauma is a long journey to come clean in one's spirit and soul, in taking back their true essence from prior to an event as significant as a rape. Having been a powerful Healer prior to my own adult rape, it is amazing to witness myself in peeling my own layers and the amazing unfoldment that occurs. My main work was as a Spiritual Healer, a Psychic Channel and Intuitive Energy Worker, and a Transformational Massage Therapist. I had become an Ordained Interfaith Minister and had raised my vibrational level to such a high degree it was VERY difficult for me to go into normal public locations without being bombarded by others energies afterwards and needing to spend countless hours or days cleansing myself. I had strong gifts of being an Empath, an Intuitive, a Clairaudient, Clairvoyant and Clairsentient. My gifts were enormous, and slowly over time they have been coming back; with a mission and a cause. Now, the clairvoyance is the strongest, as well as clairsentience, empathic gifts and intuitive gifts, however, the clairaudient gift is still developing to what it was before.

The first 2 years after the rape had happened, I noticed I moved into SUPER high nova sex drive and needed, craved and wanted sex all the time. It was as though this area of my body was an empty vessel and there was no energy able to come through in my spirit to fill myself. Although it had felt as though I was just super sensual and able to channel my kundalini to a peak. Perhaps this is true, but I see now that there perhaps was a black hole there and there was nothing coming in or going out, and in a sense my body needed the energies of others in order to heal that empty space. The 1st year after a rape, a human's body, a woman in particular, is unable to feel the trauma in herself. It is as though it never happened and remains a void, however, the following year and especially the 3rd year after the soul has completely caught up with the event and the need and desire for comfort, support and nurturing is at an ultimate high to feel loved, supported and cared for and to help the emotions of the trauma leave and love to return. However, as a Dakini, and being a single mom, I did not get the support I needed to heal the trauma. I had to deal with it all on my own, heal it all on my own, and be a giver, nurturer to others at the same time. My comfort was in giving to others and this was my way of receiving some of the support I needed. However, it was never the depth that my spirit, heart or body truly needed, and a small hour or two was always just a tease and taste of what my body truly craved. It in a sense was running on an empty bucket.  Having a wounded father for my child, who was unable to have the ability for empathy to give for someone such as this made it almost impossible to heal. However, I AM a Warrior, and would not give up, for I knew who I was before, and being a Healer when this happened, I learned a great lesson: TO ALWAYS TRUST YOUR INTUITION even if others want to be with you, be with your energy and spend time with you. Sometimes when you are integrating from a powerful healing training, it is BEST to spend time alone, and truly integrate all the vibrational healing that one experienced, and giving in to others that "want" to spend time with you, may in fact harm you so much more. And for myself as a Spiritual Healer, I had to truly forgive myself for giving in to someone who harmed me, whom I had trusted. And, the same lesson showed up in my son's father.

I spent the past few days with another amazing Healer, and he truly helped my yoni open, and shed its tears, for crying out the blame I had placed not on my rapist, or on my son's father who was raping me energetically all this time, but I had placed the blame on myself for having chosen these individuals and trusting them when in truth they should not have been trusted. The forgiveness showed up as I received nurturing healing this past weekend, in my womb that normally would have been in pain for 2 weeks after having sexual contact, and this time my womb was pain free! My Beloved friend who shared intimacy with me, cared for me, gave me energy healing on my womb, and his light was SO strong that I was able to release the emotions that my yoni had armored inside itself, and forgave myself for choosing to "hang out" and give energy to my rapist and my son's father; who truly had raped me energetically all these 6 years. Now, I can say that my choice was my choice, and in this I let it go, and can start to love myself as I truly need once again.

What's next is to protect my energy, continue to clear it, wear crystals in my bra, around my neck, continue to sleep with them, work with other healers to cleanse my aura and spirit body at a profound level to raise my vibration to what it was before, and even higher, and go to healing retreats, spend time in union with other healers, and so much more! I will now protect myself at a greater level with clients, and be much more selective with whom I allow in Session with me one on one, and perhaps take to additional work in writing, Phone Life Coaching or email Coaching and Yoga! I will be completing my Credentials this fall and have been invited as a special Guest in India for a Healing Retreat. My intention is to be there, come high or come water, and allow the abundance to come! I am praying to Ma Durga for protection and working with a Sufi Mystic for continued cleansing as well. I am truly grateful for prayer, other Healers, and the allowing of true love and healing to come in!

Om Sri Durgaya Namah! 

Namaste~

Asttarte Deva ~ Sharananda Devi ~ Earth Goddess ~ Wood Tigress!

This IS a time of celebration!

AMEN

~ more to come...

For those Who've been raped or Emotionally Wounded

I found these two sites to be of MOST importance. Many women who have these types of experiences, just deal with the consequences. Some have minimal experiences of sex because of it but truly want to connect more frequently and longer. Here is some information for the ladies, who need a little extra support!

"Unlike other sexual function disorders, Vaginismus is one of the many sexual function conditions in women that is highly treatable and can be successfully resolved with proper treatment. A treatment program is usually designed by a certified therapist based upon the problems and needs of a woman. The common methods of treatment included in the program are the following: Since 90% of Vaginismus is due to different psychological issues, psychotherapy helps women understand their condition. This method lets them express their fears, emotions, and relationship issues with their partners. Psychotherapy is considered the most important part of the program as it helps both the therapist and client fully understand the most probable cause of the problem. Relaxation Techniques – These are methods composed of different relaxation exercises that will help the woman feel calm and relax. The aim of these methods is to allow her let go of emotions that may prevent her from having successful intercourse with her partner. Sexual Anatomy – This method of the treatment program allows women to understand their feminine sexual anatomy better. The therapist explains how the different areas of the vaginal and pelvic floor muscles may cause pain and penile penetration difficulties. The method also involves thorough explanations on how these parts of women may undergo involuntary tightening. Insertion and Penetration Exercises – The therapist teaches different techniques that will help relax the pelvic floor muscles. These techniques help women have full control over their sexual anatomy, thereby preventing involuntary tightness and allowing pain-free insertion and full penetration. Vaginal dilators are also use to desensitize the pelvic floor muscles. These reduce the reflexes that may trigger the muscles to tighten and cause painful sensations. Readiness Exercises for Couples – To successfully resolve Vaginismus, the couple need to work together. These exercises are composed of different exercises and techniques that were designed for couples in order to relieve the involuntary tightening of the pelvic floor muscles and have pain-free penetration during intercourse. The sex therapist also helps built intimacy, trust, and cooperation between partners. Women who frequently experience vaginal discomfort during intercourse, such as pain and burning sensations, are probably suffering from the condition known as Vaginismus. Vaginismus is the result of involuntary tightening of the vaginal walls, making penetration during intercourse difficult or even impossible. This is usually manifested by the following symptoms: "Pain due to tightening of the vagina during intercourse Painful sensation during insertion of the penis/ failure to achieve penile penetration due to pain. Difficulty having a gynecological exam involving the vagina performed Sexual pain and discomforts after giving birth or undergoing a surgical procedure involving the female reproductive system Lack of interest to engage in sex due to pain Vaginismus can either be due to psychological or physical causes. Psychological causes- almost 90% of women suffering from Vaginismus have one or more of the following psychological issues: Fear of getting pregnant Performance anxiety related to intercourse Traumatic sexual experiences in the past Childhood memories of sexual abuse Poor emotional attachment between partners Lack of knowledge regarding sex Physical causes 10% of Vaginismus in women is due to the following physical causes: Infections involving the female reproductive system Difficult normal vaginal deliveries; complicated c-sections& Physical, sexual abuse, harassment, or rape Hormonal imbalance resulting to vaginal dryness  Increasing age (menopausal stage) resulting to poor vaginal lubrication Pelvic pain from trauma or previous surgery. Please also find the Source of this post is from:

http://www.vaginismus.com.sg/Treatment-of-Vaginismus.html and
http://eroscoaching.blogspot.com/

For Ladies Who Cannot Have Sex

For Ladies Who Cannot Have Sex or have a difficult time.....

Men Who Act Like Boys

Women who are on the path to healing themselves at some point get to the place of realizing that they may be putting up with men who act like boys and need to put their foot down. A lot of women who are soft, overly kind and forgiving, and accepting and loving, at one point or another realize that this way of being with men in their lives, also has caused them to be attracted to those they can "take care of", or "love the poison out of them", and in some cases "control the men" into kind, responsible, loving beings. However, eventually, women realize that these men cannot and will not ever grow up with their help. They must figure out their own paths, their own healing journeys and stand up as men on their own. Many of them never will, and those who do, God Bless You!

To the women I see as sisters, I stand with you, and raise my arms up high, that it is time, we stand as women, as one, and affirm that we deserve to be treated as WOMEN, as Goddesses, and as divine creatures, and no longer accept irresponsible men, or men who need us to take care of them, but instead, men who can truly take care of us, and stand strong in their power as men, take root in themselves as warriors, and take on roles as successful business people, or workers, and lift their women up to the righteous beauties they are, and surrender to their women; rather than taking control, demeaning them, belittling them, and making the women in their lives feel worthless, powerless, and weak, but instead beautiful women who feel supported for being the true self they are.

Men who try to overpower you, control you to doing what they want, condemn you for having your own opinion, manipulate you to doing what they want, coerce you into their dreams, diminish anything that is important to you or anything you have to say, ridicule that your opinion matters, blame you for their problems, avoid the important conversations that get to the root of these things, punish you for not doing what they want, possess you and keep you all to themselves and in a sense owning you, and then expect and assume you will provide for them or take care of them, feel needy towards you, and then angry YOU don't take care of them, are NOT men, they are BOYS, that need a good spanking, a little punishment, and some major distance so they really understand that they CANNOT act that way with you ever AGAIN!

I, as a woman, who has been putting up with a boy, understand the journey, and the struggle to leave this type of man, especially one you believed in so strongly that they would grow up, especially one who made promises after promises with nothing to show for, and only displayed anger, upset and distance that you didn't do anything they wanted, take a stand that it is time to move on, ask for the help I need, and put an end to the cycle.

AHO, to all the Goddesses out there who join me!

Blessings of love, serenity and peace to all of you!

Asttarte

See also: http://mylovermybestfriend.wordpress.com/2012/04/19/when-men-act-like-boys/

Stop Being a Nice Girl

Are you someone like myself who has put up with a man who doesn't treat you right, doesn't see your divinity, your power or respect you as a woman? Do you let other people walk all over you and give in when you wish you could just take a stand and say loudly NO to letting someone treat you any less than you know who you are? Women, like myself who grew up in households where there was a serious amount of love missing from the parents, and the women now who as girls then were always left feeling like there was something huge missing from their lives; and love in particular?

Women Who Love Too Much

During this grandiose journey of Motherhood, I've been on a spiral of many ups and downs in choosing wisely what is best for my son and myself. I've toppled the bottle in opening my heart to its fullest and surrendered my love to my son's father in coming to acceptance, forgiveness, allowing, surrendering, and loving. And I've moved all the way on the other side of the scale to standing up for myself, affirming what is right for my self expression, my passion, my power, my divinity, my beauty, my pleasure, affirming that I deserve respect, honor, integrity, authenticity, humbleness and deep profound kindness and love.

I started getting Rolfing Sessions in February for my son and myself and after my 2nd Session, a HUGE eruption of rage poured out of my body. My poor cat had to be a witness, but luckily no one else. And what showed up was a well of anger for having put up with a man who is SO angry and hostile, and one who does not respect me as a woman, nor as a Goddess. I've been dealing with this for years, and even my own mother and father question why I put up with this. I've felt as though I've had a second child all this time, and that's not the feeling you want to have; especially when you know who you are, as a woman; as a Goddess.

This entry is a bit of a personal one for me, but I feel as though it may help other women to know this struggle; that I am not the only one; and that you are not alone. As a woman, I battle with just being loving, and giving people the benefit of the doubt; accepting their faults, their weaknesses as well as their strengths. Women advance quicker and earlier in life than men, and it is in our nature to be a caretaker to others. However, we/I often get angry when that is all we do. When I feel as though he needs me to surrender and be the nice girl so "he" doesn't get angry. That puts a heavy burden on a woman, and sooner or later you realize you are pretty pissed that you are not being taken care of, or adored, or honored, or at its worst allowed to fully express yourself; your love, your passion, your pleasure and your vulnerabilities. When you have to do these all on your own with others, it may not be at the depth you need, and it could certainly be hard on the other people in your life. So, you become the hero and figure it all out yourself.

In the Landmark Seminar Being Extroadinary, I took on being truly happy and financially independent where I don't need him to support me at all, even though he never has, but to take away the need would be very freeing. Most men who have children take on a role of responsibility as a parent, and in particular to the mothers of their children. A stand that would work for me would be to no longer treat him as though he is another child of mine, but instead demand that I deserve to be treated as a woman, and I have much bigger things to worry about than taking care of his problems.

I wrote this poem last night:

Consumption

To be consumed

Filled with anxiety

Is to befriend

the darkness hidden within

Have mercy on your fear

Dancing with your own devil

Swallowing the shadow

you not just walked

but ran away from

There is nothing left

but time

but the breath

To breathe life back

inside your veins

To bring light

into the darkness

that is inside of you

Instead of running

Stay.

As I read the book last night, Women Who Love Too Much, it brought chills down my spine of the synchronicity and resonance of the words it spoke to me. I do love to read, and I find myself reading material that is exactly perfect in the moment I read them, however, these words were scarcely correct.

• Typically you come from a dysfunctional home in which your emotional needs were not met.
• Having received little real nurturing yourself, you try to fill this unmet need vicariously by becoming a caregiver, especially to men who appear needy in some way.
• Because you were never able to change your parent(s) into the warm, loving caretaker(s) you longer for, you respond deeply to the familiar type of emotionally unavailable man whom you can again try to change through your love.
• Almost nothing is too much trouble, takes too much time, or is too expensive if it will "help" the man you are involved with.
• Accustomed to lack of love in personal relationships, you are willing to wait, hope and try harder to please.
• You are willing to take far more than 50 percent of the responsibility, guilt, and blame in any relationship.
• In a relationship, you are much more in touch with your dream of how it could be than with the reality of your situation.

These bullets spoke to me, as I am sure they do to any woman who "loves" too much, and it is my commitment to stand up for myself (and other women), instead of a man who doesn't deserve it.

Most women grew up in homes where they didn't receive the love they deserved, or the honoring of who they are, and I as a woman claim the right that women, and myself deserve to take back who we are; the gentle, loving and deserving women on the planet.

Some Women Orgasm During Exercise

Some Women Orgasm During Exercise

Thanks Jim for sharing! :-)

When Sex is Unpure

When I Don't Make Love To Someone Who Love's Me:

I can feel the darkness in my womb, and I feel it's cries for days afterwards asking me why would I do such a thing. I feel unloved, and filled with stress and my body asks me to place healing energy all over myself for days until the energy subsides. It then begins to question my love for myself, as though I am allowing this other being into my sacred center when they don't have any investment into who I am. They crave, they desire, they lust for passion and love, but yet they are unable to create the sacred connection with me; or perhaps even them-self.

It is a rare man who can hold the space of true love with a woman, and one who can carry and harness the place of letting go of their ego, giving fully to the woman in their presence, and holding the vibration and love, of peace and tantric bliss with just their eyes; their touch, their love.

I too, find myself not with any man who can hold this space; for I have not found a man who can hold a space such as this; except when I treat myself to a Tantric Retreat and merge with an Advanced Practitioner as myself; otherwise, I too am waiting.

To be so pure, so present, so kind, so giving, so gentle, so loving and to merge deeply with the Beloved in his woman, in the woman before him takes a strong man; a powerful man; one who has integrated himself and released his past; one who has no concerns of who is he or what he is doing, but just gives of himself fully.

I then love myself fully, and harness the depth of love to myself and stand firm in making him wait until he has fully cleansed himself of his past, and fully give of himself to me, and love me as one!

The Many Vaginas of One Female Body

Now, I know you are thinking about a woman’s vagina as soon as I speak this word, however, her actual physical vagina is not what I am speaking about. A woman is an entire vessel of orgasmic possibilities, and when she is honored in her entirety of vaginas, she opens into a full lotus of pleasure, love and her Goddess self. A woman deserves to have her body touched in its entirety, and when she does, her whole body moves into orgasm, and it doesn’t even have to include her actual genitals.

When she is touched in all of her vaginas that are around her entire body, she slowly moves closer and closer to her orgasmic ride and wave of bliss that she is capable of. Each of her vaginas also have a clitoris and a central focal point surrounding the clitoris that desire to be adored. The “lips” of her vagina then are pampered and rubbed, or pressed, or caressed and slowly they move into engorgement and relax inside of her. This relaxation in each of these vaginas creates an awakening of her entire body where the Chi flow is then able to start and continues to expand and move as each vagina is nurtured and given the attention she really needs.

What are all of these extra vaginas I speak of?

There are many, and they are ALL over the woman’s body.

Her neck: the back of her neck, the spine that leads up to the coccyx, the muscles wrapping around the spine on the neck are her lips, and the coccyx is her clitoris, the spine is the empty space and opening, and the entire neck is her entire vagina as a whole. When squeezed, and muscles are worked out to their entirety; not just teased and given a small amount of attention, but truly worked out all of their knots and tightness, with firm or gentle pressure and as long as it take, this area become an access to her full body orgasm.

Her arm: the area of her arm below the shoulder and between her elbow on the exterior part of her arm is another clitoris. When you find the point that is that one special pressure point and when pressed on directly and held for 10 seconds or more, she has the capability of moving into orgasmic breath and wave of pleasure fills through her body.

Her thigh: the outside of her thigh from above the knee all the way to her hips on the yang, or exterior side of her body are another vagina of her body. The clitoris of this area is along the rubber-band muscle that is in the inner layer of her muscles closer to the back side of her leg also has another clitoris. The whole thigh muscle on the outside is her lips, and LOVE to be pressed firmly and squeezed to release their tightness.

The feet: the top of the foot and the bottom of the foot are an entire vagina. The top of the foot is the outer lips, the bottom of the foot is the inner lips and labia, and the entrance to her vaginal canal and her clitoris is somewhere along the bottom of her foot. For each woman it will be in a different location, and only she can lead you to the right place.

There are many more vaginas for each woman, and when you have sincere interest in discovering ALL of her clitoris’, she will surely lead you to how she likes to pleasured. And, after you have opened and given her all the expansion and foreplay in her entire body, then, when you reach her actual vagina, she will be that much more open and ready for you.

How do you Massage Each of These Vaginas?

It is a woman’s job to tell her partner(s) how she wants to be touched, and a man’s job (or her partners) to hear her and listen to her desires as she requests them. She might want firm pressure and holding still on one spot, or firm pressure and movement. The movement can be very slow or as fast as she likes. She might like grabbing and squeezing, or pressing and rubbing. She might like pinching, or gliding, or a tickling sensation. Each area might have different needs, but once each area is opened, it will allow her body to slowly move into a full body sensation of pleasure.

For example: I like my thigh vagina to be squeezed all the way down with pressure from both sides of my thigh, then squeezed all along one side all the way down. Then I like to have the massage go in circular motions around my clitoris, and stay in these circles for quite some time. Then I like the clitoris of my leg teased and only approached slightly with gentle and firm pressure on its point. Once the leg is opened and the clitoris has been slightly teased, then when going back to the direct clitoral spot, my whole body moves in waves of sensation and my breathing intensifies and I make sounds of orgasm; just from massaging my leg.

When the whole body and all of these vaginas are massaged in this way, I move into total bliss and euphoria that is difficult to stand. Then my actual vagina is extremely engorged and ready to be massaged directly and MUCH more sensitive to the touch when only massaged there. It’s like having foreplay for the body instead of going straight in to having sex right away. You have MUCH more pleasure when you have lots of foreplay than when you dive right in. The WHOLE body has the ability to have an orgasm and the more orgasms, the better!

In Preparation for the Moon

This past weekends training in Basic Sensuality was a phenomenal program, and there were SO many things I would love to share about this course, however, today I want to start with the Woman, and who she is in preparation for her moon cycle.

It's so fascinating to hear what a woman already knows, and how she truly can be acknowledged for her feminine power during the time she is preparing to release the blood that is in her cells and a part of her power. We learned how when a woman is on the pill, it actually numbs all the possible hormones that allow her to get in touch with her femininity. It shuts off the connection and diminishes what's possible in her body. I suppose I have always known this because I only tried the pill for 3 days of my life, and knew, INSTANTLY, it cut me off from my real self. It's been over 20 years since I ever put one of those little pellets in my body. A woman deserves to feel ALL of her power, her grace, her vulnerability, her softness, and her hardness (that is her rage, anger, or dark side). During the time of preparation for the moon, all of the deepest parts of a woman are revealed, and when she can learn to honor those parts of herself and do her deep work during those times, as well as let herself be nurtured by others around her, she can move closer and closer to her true power and Goddess self, and be truly SEEN as a Goddess!

In preparation for the moon, it is a woman's natural birthright to receive the touch her body so desperately craves. And, touch IS truly what will help all of those hormones going through her body to relax; and so simply under the palm of your hand. Massage, taking baths, relaxing, doing yoga, cuddling, and love making are so precious and sacred during this time, and it is the time the woman's body desires it the most, and truly needs it. Her body is SO worked up, and it is going through changes inside of her; many changes she is completely unaware of, or the partner(s) in her life. It is a natural biological process, that when honored and nurtured can be used to truly embrace her and lift to her to her natural state of awakened juicy flow and the glowing Goddess she truly is.

She LOVES to be touched, with the palm of your hand, literally, and your fingers have all the magic she really needs. There is a process to touching her that when taught and truly learned, will have her yearning for your every offer to be close to her.

What they taught in this course, was like Tantra with a fine tuned fork. It was SO specific, and all the Spiritual talk and energy movement was not present here. It was more a dialogue of how to communicate to her, communicate to her body and have her craving for more. How powerful to bring the world of Spirit (Tantra) and Communication of Sex in one!

Love,

Asttarte

Detoxing the Pain Inside Us

Yesterday was my first day of actually choosing to receive a Healing Treatment specifically designed in healing a rape. I went back to my old therapist with the stand "I am now ready! I do not want this impacting my life any longer." Because in reality, I know it was impacting every interaction I made, very decision I made, every decision and my way of being with clients, my son, his father, my parents, my brothers, my finances, my work, my artistic expression, my friends, my style of living, my monthly bills, even my spiritual practice, style of dress, my ability or lack of ability in making decisions and perhaps more.

EMDR is the method my old therapist uses and is specialized in, and in particular is specialized in this form in trauma. Now, everything makes sense. The rapes I experienced in high school were minor compared to this. They were more about a young girl who was too shy to speak my truth, not physically strong enough, or unable to stand up for myself and had trouble getting someone off of me. They were certainly violating and scary for a young woman, but this time, it was a major violation. This young man, and someone I thought I cared about actually grew up to become a rapist and in my therapists eyes, "a psychopath", and someone who will probably never heal his reasons or actions in doing so; someone I had hoped would make good decisions and be a kind person in our society, but instead, he turned out to be someone all women be aware of and stay away. He drugged me to unconscious and I had no control in my actions or words. I was silent and completely passed out. I have little memory of the event. He committed a real act of sexual violence, and as the blood poured out of me for a month after it happened, so is now my blood pouring out of my heart, my soul and my spirit body.

During the EMDR, I watched the energy releasing out of my head, my neck and my face, but in particular, deep inside on the right side of my vagina; the front right side, all the way right side and back right side. I watched, intuitively, the energy releasing out of this area and coming down my leg to leave me; as if there was an entity, invisible, stuck inside me I was totally unaware of. Now, I can finally, for the first time, be a stand for removing that which truly was keeping me back.

Everything is energy, and now as the energy leaves me and pours into the earth, I can come back to my passions and help others who need to do the same. I have done energy clearing for this the past 5 years, otherwise, I would have had no drive to be sexual at all, but this time we got to the core of it where I can truly walk the path of being free; and only I will know when that is, but yesterday was a huge start.

I am much older and wiser now and I know the power of these healing modalities and instead of keeping them to myself, as if they are a secret, I am here to share all of their power with you.

As a bonus, yesterday in giving a session, a tantra healing actually, I noticed the triggering was much less and I was able to perform in ways I haven't been able for quite some time. the only thing that did bother me after a while, was the muscles in my arm, but a massage can help heal that. I know my client was grateful. However, the spiritually minded are those who I will only work with, but I think that's a good thing!