Since the beginning of April, there's been a new initiation I've been going through. A friend of mine visited me during the weekend of the Grateful Dead. This friend is a Reiki Master from the MD/DC area; a Tantric Healer and Psychologist. And after we met at the mall with my son and had lunch, we came back to my place. My little guy watched a movie, and I layed down for a full hour receiving Reiki; a treatment I hadn't given myself since BEFORE the rape happened. I was a strong Healer before it happened. I was extremely psychic, was often channeling information from my guides and angels on how to help the person seeking my help, many times was instructed on my next steps by my angels and had a very close relationship with them. I could see auras, energy fields and peoples chakras and was guided in helping to clear them. I did Angel Magic regularly, went to drum circles, sang, danced, went to pagan ceremonies and my third eye was WIDE open. I could feel everything around me. I did tarot readings, and angel readings for people and was heavily involved in the spirit world, much before it become a popular thing in our culture. In 2000, 2001 and 2002 I taught Reiki classes and held reiki shares. I taught Ascension Meditation classes and was living in bliss, on the spirit world. The past 6 years I learned about bliss in one's own body; a different approach. Now, I am being re-united to my spirit power and merging both worlds into one!
In 2005 it happened, and my whole spiritual being got shut down. My chakras never closed, as they were FULLY opened, but everything became a blur, like a cloud of smoke was around me, and I had tried everything to reclaim my spiritual essence. It would show up in spurts, but nothing like it was before the rape had happened.
Then on this fateful day of my friend arriving, everything changed. After his session, I was more relaxed than I had been in over 6 years. I'm a different person now. My relationship with my parents is extraordinary compared to what it was, and my heart and mind are stronger. It was my spirit that was weak and the integration I've been praying for all these years finally started showing up on this day.
From that day on, I did reiki on myself almost every day. I was already a Reiki Master, and I wanted to live into this frequency as often as possible, and remember that I AM a powerful Healer, and I deserve to have the peace that surrounded me on that day, and everyday afterwards, and not just from giving Healing to others; but giving it to myself.
When my Beloved Goddess girlfriend came to spend time with me, I opened up even greater. What an amazing reflection of the Goddess I am, by having attracted such a gorgeous and powerful being. I so look forward to spending time with her again. She is reminding me of the Goddess I AM and always have been.
After about a month of doing reiki on myself almost every day, I woke up last Friday morning with a panic attack, and it lasted off and on all day and for the next 4 days. But after this, I received a Healing myself, got in touch with the rage that was keeping me anxious and in fear and cleared the root of the rape and the first layer of tapping into my true power. I am now more peaceful, centered, calm, and gentle with myself than I have been in a LONG long time; maybe ever. And it feels glorious to be in my body again. I will continue to give myself healing and now, am available to giving it to others. I now KNOW I am here to empower other women in this world, and help them to open so they can have the relationship with their beloveds they truly deserve! Getting rid of men's sexual frustrations is only temporary. When the women can access their true pain, be in touch with their power and open up their flower in their body, this then is when deep intimacy can truly happen. It's time for the men to learn how to help the women heal, and the time for women to reclaim them-self as The Goddess!!!
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