Thursday, April 19, 2012

Men Who Act Like Boys

Women who are on the path to healing themselves at some point get to the place of realizing that they may be putting up with men who act like boys and need to put their foot down. A lot of women who are soft, overly kind and forgiving, and accepting and loving, at one point or another realize that this way of being with men in their lives, also has caused them to be attracted to those they can "take care of", or "love the poison out of them", and in some cases "control the men" into kind, responsible, loving beings. However, eventually, women realize that these men cannot and will not ever grow up with their help. They must figure out their own paths, their own healing journeys and stand up as men on their own. Many of them never will, and those who do, God Bless You!

To the women I see as sisters, I stand with you, and raise my arms up high, that it is time, we stand as women, as one, and affirm that we deserve to be treated as WOMEN, as Goddesses, and as divine creatures, and no longer accept irresponsible men, or men who need us to take care of them, but instead, men who can truly take care of us, and stand strong in their power as men, take root in themselves as warriors, and take on roles as successful business people, or workers, and lift their women up to the righteous beauties they are, and surrender to their women; rather than taking control, demeaning them, belittling them, and making the women in their lives feel worthless, powerless, and weak, but instead beautiful women who feel supported for being the true self they are.

Men who try to overpower you, control you to doing what they want, condemn you for having your own opinion, manipulate you to doing what they want, coerce you into their dreams, diminish anything that is important to you or anything you have to say, ridicule that your opinion matters, blame you for their problems, avoid the important conversations that get to the root of these things, punish you for not doing what they want, possess you and keep you all to themselves and in a sense owning you, and then expect and assume you will provide for them or take care of them, feel needy towards you, and then angry YOU don't take care of them, are NOT men, they are BOYS, that need a good spanking, a little punishment, and some major distance so they really understand that they CANNOT act that way with you ever AGAIN!

I, as a woman, who has been putting up with a boy, understand the journey, and the struggle to leave this type of man, especially one you believed in so strongly that they would grow up, especially one who made promises after promises with nothing to show for, and only displayed anger, upset and distance that you didn't do anything they wanted, take a stand that it is time to move on, ask for the help I need, and put an end to the cycle.

AHO, to all the Goddesses out there who join me!

Blessings of love, serenity and peace to all of you!

Asttarte

See also: http://mylovermybestfriend.wordpress.com/2012/04/19/when-men-act-like-boys/

3 comments:

Jim Wert said...

Aho! The world depends on women who will do this. I feel the time is near at hand when the women will awaken to who you truly are and a new age will begin. Indigenous people everywhere, not just the Mayans, see 2012 as the end of the age of the patriarchy, and the beginning of the rise of the Divine Feminine. The era of separation, the Other, shame, manipulation, and competition is nearing an end.

"It will be women who remember this stuff and women who will enlighten the world...and we'll do fine, we'll get through...but it's not going to come from us guys." Drunvalo Melchizedek

Men as boys are the result of the patriarchy as well; centuries of responding to the dictum that "real men" do not allow their feelings to influence them. Thus they become dead from the neck down in their emotional body. To the extent men today continue in this practice, they are then choosing to be victims. Women by virtue of living in the same culture will have to undergo your own psychic reconstruction of what a real man is as you have been wedded to the same ideals to some extent, while lamenting what is denied you and the men as a result. Blessings and love.

Dawn Wolf said...

Hey, Jim I find you in the most surprising places online. I hope to see you in DC this June in the drum circles north of the Capitol building! But I'd like to add to the thoughts expressed in your article.

“From the complex threading of broken circles, and families in the world I, as a Teacher, am finding challenges in boys to men circles, and learning to develop approaches towards balancing warring elements within the men Spirit sends my way!

So many boys are raised by women in and out of touch with their sacredness. Many do not recognize there is often bitterness in their rearing of their sons meant for their fathers that translates into a perplexing disrespect for women in their sons. The boys don’t understand, until a man points it out at the right moment, that their mothers gave birth to their protection when they had a son. I see these boys all the time on the street, on subways, and in my sacred teaching circles. I can think of a number of incidents to illustrate.

I remember two boys in lock up telling me, for an hour, how they at 12 years of age learned to gang rape women to the degree they were incapable of transitioning from that to their ideal of marriage. I’ve dealt with boys who cannot equate their disdain for girls and women from their professed love and devotion for their mothers. These boys become men with the same set of values and the same contradictions. I cannot wax eloquent enough to draw the contradictions and the challenges to the forefront, but as a man the journey to sacred womanhood is not singular. It connects, as it did at birth, with what was created in the conditions of life women find themselves in in a man’s world!” – Gregory E. Woods, Keeper of Stories

Rae Crow said...

Thank you for this post. I just woke up and and am beginning my healing journey of remembering. As emerging Goddesses we have to treat ourselves with the dignity and respect that we deserve, honoring ourselves and our sisters. The men in our lives may choose to heal and follow, but it is not our responsibility to wear ourselves out trying to "fix" them. We can only heal by holding ourselves in high regard. Blessings and healing to all Goddesses as we remember who we really are.